Its not often that I get the opportunity to wax philosophic with someone who I feel is on the same "level" as me. As conceited as it sounds, there are many people on this planet who are lost in the trappings of modern day life; finding one person that is capable of stepping back and perceiving the world as a whole is a rare treat.

I'm not perfect, nor will I ever claim to be. I have my own strengths and just as many weaknesses. To forget that is to set yourself up for failure; if you leave even the smallest chink in your armor, there will be someone who will find that weak spot and exploit it for their gain and your loss. I have many philosophies that I embrace, and tonight was a night of refreshers, or reminders of who I am and what I believe in.

A good friend of mine and I spent a good hour or so talking about everything and nothing. The topic? Its a bit difficult to categorize every aspect into neat, well-defined boxes, so its pointless to even try to classify what we did. Suffice to say, it was free-flow, stream-of-consciousness. I was asked, "why do I always strive for something? Why don't you hang back and let things happen on their own?" It was an interesting question, the kind of inquiry that would catch most people off guard; it was also a question that I've known the answer to for years. I responded, "I'm always striving and moving forward because the moment I stop, the world and all of its opportunities will pass me by."

An interesting response? Perhaps, but its a philosophy that I've come to embrace after years of being "in the right place at the right time". I've had my shares of ups and downs, times where things could not get any better and times where it feels like I could not have screwed things up any worse. I'm not one to simply move on with things, rather I'm one who is ALWAYS looking for a lesson. Was I too forward with this individual? What exactly did I do for this to fall into my lap? I've learned what works and what doesn't work through years of trial-and-error, and my philosophies reflect that. How do I know the world will pass me by if I give it the chance to? Because I've had a habit of general indifference to time, a laziness that has cost me some very unique, potentially beneficial opportunities. I won't go into much detail here, but there were a few times where if I HAD motivated myself to reach that goal, then I would have hit paydirt.

What else do I believe in? I believe in searching for as many answers to as many things as possible. Large religious bodies have somewhat contributed to this outlook. I was born Christian, and I found religion at an early age thanks to my grandparents, but for most of my life I've been separated from organized religion. As time passed, I came to embrace science as my belief system because I recognized that most of life's mysteries were answered in a system of irrefutable calculations. Science offered facts and physical relationships, and religion embodied a lack of initiative and curiosity. I have a natural predisposition to seeking answers, so I accepted science into my life. I have not rejected the idea of the presence of a god; if anything, I've always believed that he created the universe and stepped back from it all to give existence a chance to sort itself out. Some people have a hard time believing that, and I'm fine with that. I don't try to imprint my beliefs onto anyone, and provided those same people refrain from calling me a "devil worshiper" or condemning me to Hell, then I usually get along with everyone.

What motivates mankind? Its simple, really: people do things to make themselves feel good. There's no such thing as a truly selfless individual. Even if there is no physical reward for an act of goodwill, the personal feeling of having done something good is enough of a reward for those that give their time to help those in need. As a race ruled by our emotions, it is important to realize that if charity work didn't make anyone feel good after doing it, there would be no one helping the homeless or saving animals. I'm not downplaying the benefit that many hard-working individuals have on such ventures, I'm merely making the observation that behind every selfless act lies an individual who's trying to get their emotional fix.

Where am I going with this? If you have to ask, you've missed the point. I'm not trying to get to a destination, nor am I trying to get you to believe what I believe. I am simply stating those things which define who I am. I suppose putting some of my morals into writing will help to remind me who I am should I get lost in the hustle and bustle that is life. I don't have too many moments of intellectual clarity, but when I have a chance to let everything go and play a passive role for one fleeting moment, I come to see my place in the grand scheme of things. Oddly enough, I also feel compelled to write and make myself heard. The audience is small, but perhaps if I make the message loud and strong enough, I will gather some more people open-minded enough to my beliefs.